Archive for the ‘Columns’ Category

My friend and mentor, the late Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, told me of an experience he had in front of a busy department store in New York City. A complete stranger had collapsed on the sidewalk and paramedics were called. They arrived quickly and began attending to the man. They hooked him up to various instruments and began doing their good work. I quote now the words of my friend:

No one was talking to the man. He was ashen and trembling. I looked at the cardiograph monitor. It revealed a runaway heart rate. The intervals on the monitor were irregular. The paramedics were efficiently attending to the various emergency procedures. But no one was attending to the patient’s panic, which was potentially lethal. I put my hand on his shoulder. ‘Sir,’ I said, ‘you’ve got a great heart.’

He opened his eyes and turned toward me. ‘Why do you say that?’, he asked in a low voice.

To borrow Oliver Wendell Holmes’ phrase, I ‘rounded the sharp corners of the truth’ with my reply. ’Sir,’ I said, ‘I’ve been looking at your cardiograph and I can see that you’re going to be all right. You’re in good hands. In a few minutes, you’ll be in one of the world’s best hospitals. You’re going to be fine.’

In less than a minute, the cardiograph showed a slowing heartbeat. The gaps between the tall lines began to widen; the rhythm became less irregular. I looked at the man’s face; the color began to return. He propped up his head with his arms and looked around; he was taking an interest in what was happening. I felt no remorse at having skirted around the truth. What the man needed to lift him out of his panic was reassurance.

My friend Norman was absolutely correct. One of the finest gifts we can give another person is to assure them that he or she is basically good, that he or she is God’s deliberate creation, and that he or she has eternal significance and worth simply by being who and what they really are.

Rev. Dr. Louis Gerhardt is a minister, counselor, and author. His column, Tough Minded Optimism, appears in the Hi-Desert Star, Desert Trail & Observation Post. He counsels those of all religions or no religion. You can contact Rev. Lou at 760-367-4627, 800-995-1620 or res19mxc@verizon.net.

February’s story on local LGBT objections to Morongo Valley’s December Citizen of the Month, and our related interview with Pastor Scott Sedmak, generated a record amount of feedback. This week, we’ll be posting those comments at hidesertlgbtnews.com. Read them and see if you don’t feel as struck by the degree and level of contempt they express toward hard line views against homosexuality.

The sentiments surpassed what I might have predicted, disproving the theory that LGBTs are paralyzed by apathy. Where was that fire in the weeks leading up to the passage of Prop 8?

When Craig Zimmerman-Rupe valiantly tried to gather support for a ‘No on 8’ demonstration Nov. 3rd he got next to none. He bravely stood at Hwy. 62 & 247 by himself for most of the day. Fritz Koenig and Ray Bernal joined him that afternoon. I personally felt ashamed. The blitzkrieg of yellow ’Yes on 8’ signs that suddenly blanketed the Basin hadn’t exactly empowered me with courage.

Two days later, the impossible became reality and the promise that all are created equal was amended with exceptions. The system failed us; and we were left to wonder which freedoms would next be put to a vote?

When Fritz asked me to join him in organizing a post election protest, I found courage from the realization that we had to defend ourselves; not even God could step in to protect us from his followers. Fritz and I made dozens of calls, sent hundreds of emails and next to begged our community to join us. About 15 did; another 15 straight allies came when Z107.7 broadcast our press release.

Where was the LGBT fire then? The aim here is not to chastise but to motivate. We must channel the rage, package it up and unwrap it when our courage is again called to cry out for the equality denied us. Try something constructive like letters to our state assemblyman Paul Cook or congressman Jerry Lewis.

Subscriber Bennett Hubbard put it very well in his letter …

If there is ever a community meeting regarding the LGBT community in the Hi-Desert, be sure to email me information regarding it. I believe dialogue and outreach are the best tools we have at our disposal in fighting prejudice and misunderstanding.

- Mike Lipsitz, Editor

The January and February issues of Hi-Desert LGBT news addressed the 2010 Census, so why again? Because your Census form will soon arrive in the Morongo Basin, and I keep hearing fears that completing the form honestly might put LGBTs in some type of jeopardy.

No question asks if you’re gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender, but your answers about who lives with you may identify you as LGBT.

The Census Bureau cannot share your answers with anyone, including the IRS, FBI, CIA, state or local agencies. Your neighbors cannot learn of your answers. Your information is added to raw data to reflect characteristics of whole communities, not specific addresses.

The results will determine boundaries for seats in the Congress and California legislature. Some 400 billion federal dollars will be allocated based on the data. Do we want the Basin to get its share? Do we want federal funding of programs important to us? Do we need legislators like Jerry Lewis and Paul Cook, who’ve long ignored us, to know we live in their districts? Yes, yes, and YES.

Conservation, senior, and yes, LGBT organizations use the data to advocate. By recording same-sex households, needed legislative and policy initiatives can be substantiated. Opponents simply can’t claim we don’t live in the Morongo Basin.

Terry and I married in Canada. Some friends simply consider themselves married. We will all mark “married;” relationship “husband or wife.” Other same-sex couples will check “unmarried partners.” Many are advocating for even LGBT housemates to indicate “unmarried partners” on the form. The raw data will ultimately report the entire group as “same-sex unmarried partners.” It’s not completely enlightened, but we expect to benefit from the conclusions; especially if the numbers come in.

This month’s Call to Action asks that if asks that if you can claim some version of same you can claim some version of same- -sex sex partners on the Census form … DO IT!

Our families count! It will be another 10 years before we get a chance like this again. Bush didn’t want us counted; Obama does. What would a Sarah Palin type do in 2020?

Donald is a retired financial planner living in Morongo Valley. He’d very much like to hear from you. Send your comments to: CallToActionMB@aol.com.

Superior poet e.e. cummings observed:

It takes courage to become what you really are.

The brilliant psychologist Carl Jung wrote:

As a young man I had the feeling of utterly belonging… a most wonderful sense of participation in the beauty and wonder of my surroundings. Then I found others wanted to push me out of my rhythm into other directions until I began to feel hopelessly lost. I knew that NEVER AGAIN WOULD I LET THAT HAPPEN TO ME. I became reunited with myself… with a sense of that ALL BELONGING… and in greater measure than ever before.

One of America’s finest writers was William Saroyan. I’ve been “hooked” on his writing since I read “The Time of Your Life” in 1940 at age 15. I carried his books with me to war and read and reread them by flashlight in my zipped-up bag on the front lines in France, Belgium, Holland and Germany.

I was delighted; therefore, when I read that one of Saroyan’s friends once remarked to him that he was a genius. Saroyan immediately answered:

Of course, I’m a genius. There is no one in the world like me. You cannot become like me.

This anecdote leads me to the following comments:

Sometimes when I read the writings of a Tolstoy or a Dostoevsky I wish I could write as powerfully and as beautifully as they. Sometimes when I listen to the words of a Martin Luther King, Jr., or a Winston Churchill I wish I could speak as eloquently and persuasively as they.

Most of the time, however, I know better than to entertain such disquieting thoughts. Most of the time I am quite content to simply be me and to recognize in other people interesting variations of myself.

Each of us is unique, and through the years I have found joy in discovering that aspect of uniqueness that makes you supremely you and me supremely me.

I take delight in believing with the Psalmist that each of us is “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Rev. Dr. Louis Gerhardt is a minister, counselor & author. His Tough Minded Optimism column appears in the Hi- Desert Star, Desert Trail & Observation Post. He counsels those of all religions or no religion. Contact Rev. Lou at 760-367-4627 or res19mxc@verizon.net.

You may have noticed an expansion in our coverage of local religion and related topics when there is an angle of interest to our LGBT communities.

One story this month involves a local Pastor reputed to use his Bible as a hammer to publically bash LGBTs. A lengthy interview, however, reveals that while he may hold misguided beliefs about homosexuality, he is far from a foam at the mouth extremist.

Without attention and interaction with local religious elements, attitudes and misconceptions will never change.

Our focus on faith also comes in response to a handful of compassionate Christians who have begun to reach out to us as allies.

One of these compassionates is Rev. Lou Gerhardt who came to us as though divinely dispatched. Through my association with Rev. Lou, I had the fortune to be meet Rev. Lynn Reece. She is from 29 Palms United Methodist Church and an able ally. The list of religious leaders who support us has grown steadily as evidenced by the growing list of congregations willing to be listed in our Community Directory as providing a house of worship where LGBTs might worship free from fear of God’s less enlightened followers.

Not a Christian myself, it is quite uplifting when I’m reminded of the many Christians on the side of truth and justice. While investigating the story on Morongo Valley’s Citizen of the Month I sought advice and assistance from an extraordinary organization called Soulforce.

Soulforce is an interfaith movement committed to ending spiritual violence and oppression perpetuated by religious policies and teachings against LGBTQs. Soulforce is bound by the nonviolent principles of Mahatma Gandhi & Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Soulforce is partly responsible for the open dialogue that came out of the Citizen of the Month affair. A main Soulforce program is The Equality Ride. Two dozen young people will board a bus March 4 for a two-month journey – stopping at 16 colleges east of the Mississippi – all with policies discriminatory to LGBT students.

Soulforce covers 100% of the expenses for the young activists’ journey. The Equality Ride wouldn’t happen without private assistance. Consider a tax deductible gift to assist these young activists to move society and faith toward enlightenment!

To contribute, follow one of the links above; arrange a gift through me, or send a check to Soulforce Inc., PO Box 3195, Lynchburg VA 24503. 434-384-7696.

- Mike Lipsitz, Editor

By Donald Krouse

Educating society and advancing our acceptance is a constant struggle. At the very least, every qualified LGBT individual should be registered to vote to protect freedom. Additionally, it is redundant to only commiserate with a next potential date or your gay friends about equality.

We do influence many non-gays when we reveal ourselves in an appropriate way. Some 32 years ago John Briggs and Anita Bryant put California Proposition 6 on the ballot to ban gays and lesbians from teaching in the classroom. I felt fear as a 27-year-old. I worked in a conservative investment trading room of a major bank. Quietly, I asked my co-workers what they thought about Proposition 6. Remarkably most were sympathetic especially if I was hypothetically the gay teacher. I came out to them individually and felt better for having done it.

One day the head of the department made a smug comment to my supervisor that with all the “affirmative action nonsense” he would probably have to hire a faggot. Proudly, my supervisor responded, “don’t worry that’s already taken care of”. I was elated with his response. Most people in the department voted against Proposition 6. Young and old activists carried that message to family, friends, coworkers, and elected representatives. We won because people readily want to be supportive if they respect you on some level.

No one should live in isolation unless they like it. With this in mind, this month’s Call to Action is for you to come out to one person who doesn’t already know that you are LGBT. Maybe you will simply make your first call to elected representatives to let them know your concerns, or maybe you will finally come out to your family who, in all likelihood, already knows.

If this action is not for you, then find at least one of your LGBT friends who is not registered to vote and convince them to register by picking up a Voter Registration Form at the library or US Post Office, complete it and drop it back at the Post Office. Our opponents are very organized. Let’s follow their lead.

Donald is a retired Financial Planner, now living in Morongo Valley.

Send comments to:
CallToActionMB@aol.com

By Rev. Louis Gerhardt

I received a telephone call recently asking me if I was aware that the Buddhists in the Landers area are offering a Sunday School for young children. I replied that I was very much aware of this interesting news and found it quite intriguing.

The truth is that I revel in religions and beliefs that differ from my own. I take great delight from exploring the philosophies, theologies and new ideas of all kinds of people and groups. I hope that I will always be this way.

It was Einstein who wrote “Never lose a holy curiosity.” And it is from this ceaseless quest for more knowledge that I have experienced my most profound and lasting satisfaction in life.

Our magnificent universe is so ordered that each new discovery, both within ourselves and beyond the farthest horizon, compels us to seek to know more and more.

Marcel Proust wrote that “The universe is true for all of us, and different for each of us.” Perhaps that is the way it should be.

An ancient Hebrew prayer puts it very well …

From the cowardice that shrinks from new truth,

From the laziness that is content with half-truths,

From the arrogance that thinks it knows all truth,

Oh, God of truth, deliver us.

My spirit is that of John Wesley, founder of the Methodist Church, who wrote:

Give me thine hand! I do not mean, be of my opinion; you need not. I do not expect or desire it, neither do I mean I will be of your opinion … Keep your opinion and I mine, as steadily as ever.

You need not endeavor to come over to me, or to bring over to you. I do not desire to dispute points or to hear or speak one word concerning them. Only give me thine hand!

I do not mean embrace my modes or worship, or I will embrace yours. I have no desire to dispute with you one moment; let all matters stand aside, let them never come into sight.

If thine heart is as my heart, if thou love God and all mankind, I ask no more, give me thine hand.

- Louis Gerhardt

Rev. Dr. Louis Gerhardt is a minister, counselor & author. His column, “Tough Minded Optimism”, appears in the Hi-Desert Star, Desert Trail & Observation Post. He is most closely associated with the United Church of Christ, but counsels those of “all religions or no religion.” Contact Rev. Lou at 760-367-4627 or res19mxc@verizon.net

For staff at our offices near Landers, the end of month is busy readying another issue for press. As we begin a new year, however, we pause to reflect and plan.

The Morongo Basin enjoyed a gay men’s newsletter for years; this issue marks only our sixth month since changing our name and expanding coverage to include everyone in the diverse LGBT communities here.

One lesson from the Prop 8 disaster is that our communities must unite if we are to achieve equality. (Never has politics made for more strange bedfellows.) This newsletter was born out of the necessity for LGBTs to come together. The aim has been to provide a forum for lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and transgendered people to network and organize for our shared interests.

We are seeing progress in that effort. This month our circulation passed the 400 mark; twice the readership we had in June 2009, the last month as a gay men’s only publication.

Along with new subscribers among the L’s, the B’s and the T’s, we began signing up Q’s (those ‘questioning’ their sexuality, often designated by a ‘Q’ after LGBT). Behind them we were happy to count some PFLAGs (parents & friends of lesbians & gays) among new readers. Also straight allies, and straight identified LGBTs (closet cases) began to take an interest.

As 2010 begins, some 16% of our subscribers fall into the one of the non-LGBT categories, hence our realization that Hi-Desert LGBT News isn’t just for homosexuals anymore! While some readers will find this disturbing, the reality is that we must have straight allies. If LGBT civil rights and constitutional freedoms will continue to be singled out and put to popular vote, then support outside our communities is essential.

Astonishingly, some of the loudest voices among those calling for justice and equality for LGBTQs are those of our allies. Consider straight ally Maya Rupert. Most assumed her to be lesbian when last year the bright young, African-American woman stepped out of obscurity to challenge the Miss Yucca Valley organizers to make the pageant more accessible to local lesbian youth. She is one of a handful of local, straight heroes.

Z107.7 FM’s Gary Daigneault, local music guru Ted Quinn, Mita and Allen Barter, and the Rev. Dr. Louis Gerhardt also make the list of local straight heroes for their public statements in support of civil equality.

Rev. Gerhardt is one of two new columnists joining us this issue. Ordained in the United Church of Christ, he sought us out with an offer of support and affirmation. Read his column, Tough Minded Optimism, on page 5.

Donald Krouse also joins us beginning this issue. Each month, this smart and savvy gay man will examine a current LGBT topic and attempt to rally support around it in his column, Call to Action. Read Don’s column on page 4.

As LGBT visibility continues to grow we’ll discover more allies willing to proclaim their allegiance to the idea that everyone is created equal. That Hi-Desert LGBT News isn’t just for homosexuals anymore is a positive reflection of that.

Mike Lipsitz – Editor/Publisher

All years have successes and defeats; 2009 was no different.

DEFEATS We lost marriage equality fights in Maine, New York, and New Jersey.  The battle continues in California.  LGBT newspapers, bookstores, and magazines are vanishing. The Advocate is cutting back to once per month.  The alliance between the Democratic Party and the LGBT community has been seriously damaged as friction grows over issues such as ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’.  Oppression increased overseas. In Iraq and Iran the hangings and beatings of gays were horrific.  In Uganda, legislation proposed death for HIV+ gay men and imprisonment for being gay or failing to report a gay person to authorities there.

VICTORIES Passage of the Hate Crimes Bill was historic as the first piece of pro-LGBT legislation to be passed by Congress and signed by the President.  The President lifted the HIV+ travel ban.  200,000 people joined in the National Equality March with a new mix of young and straight friends marching together. Marriage equality passed in the District of Columbia and is likely to be approved by congress.  President Obama’s speech at the HRC dinner was covered live on CNN. Exciting LGBT blogs grew.  Widespread international outcry may pressure Uganda to drop the worst part of the anti-gay legislation.  With courage and dignity, Chaz Bono brought a well-known face to the transgender community.  Rachel Maddow reports on MSNBC as an open lesbian with growing acceptance.  A lesbian was elected Mayor of Houston (yes, Texas) and a gay man will be the next Speaker of the California State Assembly!

2010 promises new opportunities and challenges that we can support or ignore.  I say make them hear our roar!

To quote Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Call to Action: January simply asks for your commitment to read my column each month then do just one thing to thwart the triumph of evil. Wont you answer the call?

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Don lives in Morongo Valley and is a retired Financial Planner.

Contact Don at Moneywhys@aol.com.

On July 3, 2008 I was in a restaurant when a woman entered, saw me, threw her arms around me and said, “I have missed you terribly.” I hugged her tightly and responded, “I have missed you, too.”

A few minutes later someone asked, “Don’t you realize she has AIDS?” I replied, “Of course, I do.”

The incident reminded me of a memorial service I conducted for a man who died from AIDS some years ago. He was a member of our church in Los Angeles.

Several friends spoke of what a good man he had been, how much he had taught them, how he had made them laugh, and how much they were going to miss him.

The man’s mother, who lives in another state, was profoundly grateful for the service. He was her only son, and she had spent the last weeks of his life in Los Angeles, visiting each day in the hospital.

With beautiful pathos, she described how she held him in his final hour. “I felt that I could do it,” she said. “That I could force my life into him and keep him alive.”

I thought of Michelangelo’s Pieta in Saint Peter’s in Rome. Maybe that was what Mary was trying to do to the broken body of her son … breathe life back into him.

The image haunted me for days.

The man was lucky. His mother knew how to love him. Many mothers don’t. It is a common story among those who have AIDS that their parents reject them. So do friends, employers, teachers, and other significant persons in their lives. So do, sometimes, their churches.

There are two reasons, in most instances: Taboo on homosexuality and fear of contagion. For the church it is primarily the taboo on homosexuality. Somehow the taboo is stronger than Christ’s mandate to love.

But if the church is really going to be the church in our time, then it is going to have to show the world that the mandate is more powerful than the taboo. It is going to have to lead the way for parents and employers and all the rest, and say by its actions, “Persons stricken with AIDS are God’s children; they must be received and cared for in the name of Christ.”

Otherwise we might as well close our doors and go home, for we have missed the point of everything.

It was Jesus who said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

(Matthew 24:37-40 NIV)

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The Rev. Dr. Louis Gerhardt is a minister, counselor and author. His column, “Tough Minded Optimism”, appears in the Hi-Desert Star, Desert Trail and Observation Post. He is most closely identified with the United Church of Christ, but counsels those of “all religions or no religion.” You may reach Rev. Lou at 760-367-4627 or res19mxc@verizon.net.

YUCCA MESA—When Virginia Wolfe published, A Room of One’s Own in 1929, the idea of a woman managing to support herself and afford her own room seemed ridiculous. The start of a new decade offers an opportunity to reflect on our past and consider future. Gains that once seemed impossible to manage now appear within reach.

How fortunate we are, women of 2010. Not only can we manage a room of our own, many of us manage homes on five acres! I love my place on the Mesa and the pristine desert here. It is my heaven on earth and a far cry from my native Glasgow, Scotland.  I’m grateful for my life here, the friends I have, and those I have yet to meet. I welcome these cold nights and the warmth I find inside.

I was thrilled to host the Thanksgiving Friday Potluck Gathering. It was gratifying to meet so many gay girl and boy neighbors. It changed my impression that we can’t manage an integrated gay and lesbian community in the hi desert. Without exception, all who came were friendly and very interesting. Many of us shared feelings of empowerment as we listened to Phyllis Lozano’s presentation on statewide preparations to win back our equality. There’s much to look forward to at this dawn of a new decade.

I’m a nurse down the hill plus attend Cal State San Bernardino, Palm Desert Campus, for my Teaching Credential.  Returning to school and preparing for the future are satisfying.  I encourage fellow lesbians and gay men to do the same . Building up ourselves individually strengthens our community as a whole.

Promise to join the next community gathering and I promise you will draw strength from it and have fun too.

January’s Thought:  Live each day; Laugh out loud; Love tenderly.

Love & Peace,

Lena McSkeane

Contact Lena at: Lenamcskeane@msn.com